So why am I, a relatively private person, choosing to journal using a blog? When I received my diagnosis of breast cancer I immediately became a part of a community I certainly never expected to be a part of and definitely did not want to be. Like it or not breast cancer is not a private experience.
My reclusive lifestyle has been shattered. It feels like I have had more people in and out of my condo since the middle of December than I have had in the 5 years I have lived here. I do not particularly like to talk on the phone but I have been on the phone for hours talking to supportive friends and family. Every one a welcome visit and a welcome call. Go figure. And this does not include the extensive text and e-mail contacts. The support this represents is overwhelming to me who have considered myself mostly a loner.
Emotionally I am very matter of fact about all of this. I am in a "chop wood, carry water" mode - doing what needs to be done. On the other hand I seem to have few emotional reserves. Roadblocks are difficult to handle. I have definitely had my fall apart moments - self-pity, intense fear of chemo, and the whole bald thing. I do get bored easily with the self-pity after about 15 minutes.
I was thinking about that the other day. I said to myself "I wonder if Kay is going nuts from all the phone calls and such"??????? Well I think this was a great idea. I can talk to you on this blog and you read it when you want:) Love and miss you more than you know!!!!
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