Surgery Queen

My foot surgery is scheduled for 7/22 which is on a Friday. The positive thing about that is it will be 5 weeks after my last chemo so I should have some endurance back. Hopefully I can have some arm strength built up with my arm bike. The bad news is he told me six weeks recovery. Today he said the external fixator will come off in six to TEN weeks. He also said I have to go back in the hospital, out-patient this time, to have the fixator removed. I am definitely not happy about adding another surgery to my list.

The other thing I don't like about the news is that it probably means I get to start the new school year looking like a total dork. On my foot I will have a black boot with the side cut out of it and metal hanging out. On my head I will still have a hat because my hair will be about an inch long and who knows what color or texture. Not the best way to make a positive impression on the new class.

Update

I saw Dr. Romer for my last post-chemo check. My blood counts are a little lower than they usually are post treatment but still in the normal range. The dexa scan showed some osteopenia in the hip but I knew that was there from the last bone scan. I start the estrogen blocker tomorrow. I didn't quite catch the name of it but I thought it would be easy to look it up. I can't find any drug that sounds like what I thought I heard. Guess I'll just have to wait until I get the prescription tomorrow. The major side effect is supposed to be bone pain, particularly in the hands and wrist. Oh, goody, more joint pain. I don't see Dr. Romer again until September.

The surprise was how exhausted I got just going to the doctor's office. I am usually further along in recovery by now. The doctor explains everything as a cumulative effect. I was planning on going in to the office at Sinclair but my legs felt so weak I didn't think that was a good idea. I wouldn't want them to have to airlift me out of there. I was also looking forward to going to the grocery this week. That definitely isn't going to happen. After this morning it makes me knackered just thinking about it. At least I feel well enough to work on stuff for Sinclair on the computer and do some beading.

Doing Better

Yesterday and today were much better. I have been up for increasing amounts of time. I even cooked a pot roast yesterday. A simple thing but to be able to do it without being completely worn out is a triumph. And it tasted good, too. Yeah!

Today I worked on revising our graduate exam. I think I have the flow down OK for the transition to semesters. I'll let Nan and Shanese take a look when I have processed it myself first.

The hardest thing now is to keep paying attention when I get tired and just stop and rest. Before there wasn't a choice. I hit a brick wall and had to stop. Now the wall is more like styrofoam but I still need to stop because I can't punch on through it. Yes, I know I am impatient. Five months of decreasing ability to live my life have done thst to me. I am definitely ready for the upswing.

Ongoing Saga

I thought I would be up today but that doesn't seem to be the case. I quickly get clammy and sweaty when I get up. Of course it could have to do with getting so knackered yesterday.

I had an appointment with my family doctor, Dr. Derksen, in the morning. Just routine checkup stuff. His office is easy to get into and other than being wiped out I didn't have too much trouble. By the time I got home, though, I was pretty shaky. I drug myself back to the bed and laid down. I had two hours before I was due for a bone scan.

As I pulled into the parking lot at Sycamore I was able to catch the attention of the man with the golf cart who carts people from the parking lot to the door. I asked him to come back and give me a ride. No one told me I was to go straight to the Breast Center so I ended up doing more walking in the hospital than I really needed to. Thank goodness I had to lie down for part of the scan so I could recoup a little. My timing was good and I didn't have to wait to be carted to my car. Fortunately I live right next to Sycamore so the drive home was really short. I felt like I was hanging on by my fingernails by the time I got home. Again I went straight to bed but this time I stayed there.

Dr. Derksen said an interesting thing. We were talking about how rough this time around was. He said it was probably because they gave me more taxotere. He said they increase the amount of the drug each time depending on the patient's tolerance. Well, that would certainly explain a lot.

The Search for Food

Hunting and gathering for food is a monumental task for me the week after chemotherapy. The first step is convincing myself I really am hungry enough to risk the perilous journey to the kitchen. Depending on how I feel this task alone can take several hours. Once the decision has been made I plot my course.

The first and shortest stage of the journey is from the bed to the door of the bedroom - an intimidating 10 feet. This a crucial decision point. Am I upright? Can I get through the doorway without hanging on? Can I navigate the rest of the increasing distances?

I continue on. The hallway is a narrow 12 foot passage. It is a safe zone because I can lean on a wall if it becomes necessary. It is the trek from the hallway door, across the wide open territory of the living room and into the kitchen that is the most hazardous. The 20 foot span provides no support for wobbly feet.

I continue slowly on. I reach the relatively safe zone of the kitchen. There are counters to hang on to and a folding chair if I need to sit down. The search for sustenance begins. It must take zero preparation time, have the reasonable expectation of not tasting awful and be portable to take back to the bedroom. Mission accomplished I turn to the lengthy trek back to the bed.

I continue, slowly, slowly on. The journey home is uneventful but unbearably long and tiring. I reach the bedroom door and see the bed shining in the distance - only 10 more feet. The food is forgotten as I place it on the chair and sink into the comfort of a horizontal position on the bed. I think I will stay here for a while.

Oh, no. I forgot my water bottle. It is lost in the wilds of the kitchen until I can make another safari.

Another Bad Day

The fever has been up all day and I have been really sick again today. It continues to amaze me how exhausted I can get just going to the kitchen for juice. Becky brought me an iced capp which is one of the things that tastes OK. I had to change beds because the one I was in was so wet from sweating. All normal stuff for chemo but since the third one went so well I was hoping this one would go more smoothly.

Now that the actual treatments are over I will be going into "is it going to come back?" mode. I know from experience with David's colon cancer that that thought never totally left our minds. I'll have to come up with some new coping techniques.

Crash and Burn

This is going to be a whiny post. I am feeling increasingly sick today. Everything is worse than it usually is at this point. My muscles and bones hurt, my tongue is white, and I am running a fever already. The fever goes higher when I get up so I am stuck in bed a day earlier than I expected. I am bored and frustrated - too sick to do anything but too agitated to roll over and go to sleep. The only good thing I can say is that this is the last time through this.

Last Chemotherapy

I had my last chemotherapy yesterday. Yeah!!! When I was finished a bunch of the nurses blew party horns for me. I definitely did not expect that. I guess I haven't been there when anyone else had their last treatment.

So far I have done pretty well with more energy than usual at this point although the thrush has shown up sooner. I already have the beginnings of a white tongue and things don't taste quite as good as I anticipate. It is the change in perceived texture that really throws me off. Everything feels slick.

My sister Trish came down tonight for a visit. It is good to see her. Her life is so crazy busy I really appreciate it when she comes.

It looks like my hair is starting to grow back in. There seems to be more longer peach fuzz and I can see the outline of my widow's peak in the front. I've always had some peach fuzz on the very top of my head but the front was most definely bald.

What I Am Doing on My Summer Vacation

Dr. Romer gave the OK for the surgeries to begin the week of July 18.  I saw the plastic surgeon yesterday and the foot surgeon today.  The plan is for the foot surgery to be scheduled July 20, 21 or 22.  I would rather do it on the 20th, the doctor would rather do it the 22nd.  Hmm, guess who will probably win out on that one.  He says six weeks recovery.  I will have an external fixator (lots of metal) on the foot, be non-weight bearing for two weeks and then wear a boot with the side cut out to make room for the fixator.  I have given up on not looking weird this year.  It is definitely a lost cause.

With the foot surgeon's permission breast reconstruction will start the week of the August 15.  I  will have definite dates next week.  Dr. Hicks says they go in through the mastectomy scar, under the muscles and put in a spacer to stretch the muscles and create a pocket for the implant.  He says recovery from this is about a week because of the pain.  Yeah,  I am so thrilled.  Hopefully he prescribes some good drugs.  Then every couple of weeks they add more saline until the space is the right size for the implant.  I'm assuming that will be "uncomfortable" too.  Probably won't get any additional drugs for those injections, though.  The whole process takes about three months.

I am so not having fun this year. 

Now What Do I Do?

I finished all of my grading and have my grades posted unless Nan finds something I missed. I don't feel too badly today. I think I feel fine and then I get really tired. Thank goodness this saves me from laundry and most of the dishes. I even have enough energy for simple meals. So what am I going to do to occupy my time?

I have been working on my and Nan's necklaces - companion pieces to Jane's necklace. So far I don't have a clear idea of what to do with Nan's so I'll have to play with it a bit. That is something I can do. I am good at trying something and taking it out.

I have spent a fortune on e-books the last few months but reading has kept me sane. I am running out of books thst look interesting. I am re-reading some of the ones I already have.

The pinning ceremony was yesterday. Nan drove me so I didn't have to worry about driving. I was disappointed that I tired out about a third of the way through calling the names and had to sit down for the rest of it. Jane, Nan and everyone in the class wore hats. That was so cool.

Today I am making real progress grading papers. Course I have to take breaks and lay down for a while. I am just about ready to take another stab at it. The end is in sight.

I got my "cowboy" hat today. It is a great hat but I think it will look better when I have hair. Nan and Becky think my hair is starting to come back in. I think they are imagining things.

Practice, practice

We had our pinning ceremony practice today. Campus police graciously let me park in front of building 12 so I wouldn't get so exhausted walking in. It was great to see all of the students. I do so love this class. It is hard to let them go.

Melissa and Jane managed the practice so basically I just got to hang out. It was a good thing, too, becsuse I didn't have the energy to do much more. I will be so glad when chemo is over and I can stop worrying about the energy issue.

For the afternoon I had end of the quarter meetings with first year students. It is good to see them at this point with their first year under their belt. Then I got to come home and collapse for a while - always an important item on my agenda.

Last week of school

It is quite a struggle to do everything I need to do this week. Again, thank goodness for Nan.

We had the end of the year picnic for Sinclair Fun Night. It was good to see the kids. I lasted about an hour. When I left every one applauded. I told them it was the first time I got a standing ovation for leaving.

This morning I had breakfast with Nan and Jane. It was quite the occasion with all of us awake and at the restaurant by 8:30. It was great for all three of us to be together.

Then I saw Dr. Romer. The followup plan is for me to see him in three weeks and then regularly for two years to monitor bloodwork. I guess there is a bloodtest that monitors recurrence in breast cancer. It just isn't as sensitive as ones for some other cancers. As I was expecting I do have to have a bone scan. Then I will start an estrogen blocker. He isn't ready to talk about getting the port out yet.

Good day

I was able to teach my neurology class today which is not always the case the week after the taxotere. Of course the major reason I was able to was that Nan picked me up and drove me practically to the door of the building. I am so thankful she did. I didn't want to miss the last week before the final. Three of the Katies from the second year class stopped by for a brief visit. It was so good to see them. Then for an extra bonus Sherry brought in her little boy Corey so I got to play with him a while. What a doll. Over all a great day on campus today.