Estrogen Blocker Blues

It has been a while since I have posted.  As usual I have to do things backward.  I didn't have too much trouble with the chemotherapy.  By that I mean I had the normal side effects and never had to stop treatment.  Taking estrogen blockers, however, has been a whole different story.  After the aromasin I was put on tomoxifin.  This caused severe spasms of all my muscles.  I could hardly walk.  Any movement was painful.  I also felt like I was back on chemotherapy because my fatigue had fatique.  I was exhausted all of the time.

 At the end of September Dr. Romer agreed to take me off of the tomoxifin for three weeks to see how I did.  There was an immediate improvement.  After 3 weeks I was started on Fareson.  This drug is not used in the US very much according to the info online about it.  I decided to take it at night to see if that made a difference.  It has a whole host of nasty side effects but I'm tolerating it well.  My feet and ankles swell up like balloons but I have a lot more energy.  My muscles and joints hurt at a pre-chemo level, fibromyalgia is still a factor.  I feel like I am finally starting to get my life back.

No more Aromasin

Thank goodness my oncologist stopped the Aromasin yesterday.  I am looking forward to not hurting all of the time.  Even if it doesn't make a major difference at least I know that I need to go back to the rheumatologist and approach it from an autoimmune standpoint.  It will be nice not to walk like a 90 year old.

April and May projects

I have posted my April and May necklace projects on my creativity blog.  As far as I know they will be the last of the cancer themed projects.  I think I have said everything I had to say.  You can see the projects here.

Summer Plans

I have been planning to have my mastectomy site revised this summer. As the time fast approaches for me to make an appointment with the surgeon and get scheduled I've decided I don't want to. I am having a hard time even thinking about going back into a hospital and having a surgery. And I don't want to think about any recovery issues. We start semester classes this fall and have a short summer to get ready. I definitely don't want to take the chance of a slow recovery or complications. Heaven knows I am prone to complications. It was a great surprise to me that I could actually make this decision. I can't figure out why. It's not like the surgery was going to change anything except make the surgical site neater.

Searching for the lost boob

One of the consequences of having a prosthetic breast is that since it is not attached I have to keep track of it.  Who knew this would be an issue? First I have to remember where I got undressed.  There are several choices - two bedrooms and two bathrooms.  Then I have to figure out if I took the prosthesis out of the bra when I put it in the hamper.  Once I lost it for three days because it fell down behind the hamper.  If I were better organized I would have a consistent place to put it.  That's probably not going to happen.  I have the same problem with my hearing aides.  Perhaps my brain is really the problem.  Unfortunately I can't blame this on chemo brain. 

Thank You

My necklace for the March Bead Journal Project was intended as a thank you to all of you.  Family, friends, and students were the highlight of my life last year.  I wanted something that showed the sparkle and fun you brought into my life.  You can see the necklace here.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Attitudes

Many women in the breast cancer community are so angry.  Angry at the cancer, at the possibility of metastasis specifically of the breast cancer, at the deaths of others, of all of the losses that happen personally.  I don't want to live with that kind of anger.  It takes too much energy that I would prefer to use for other things. 

Although I know that metastasis of the breast cancer is pretty much a death sentence this is not unique to breast cancer.  The medical community does not know how to treat it for any cancer.  My husband, David, died of metastatic colon cancer.  Once the metastasis was discovered we knew that their was no further effective treatment.  I am for research on metastasis in general, not just breast cancer.  I guess dealing with his death has broadened my perspective.  I don't want anyone to die the way David did.  And I don't want anyone to have to stand on the sidelines and watch.